Episode 10 - Life’s a divorce, an arrest, and a cabaret

Luann got divorced twice, got arrested, and got sued by the Count and her own children. We mention it all.

Also, Luann may speak three languages but she still needed a lawyer to speak on her behalf in order to stay out of jail… (if you’ve watched the recent episode of RHONY you know what we are talking about).

Note: We recorded this episode before the incident with Luann and attorney Eboni K. Williams. Some info about Eboni: At age 16, she was accepted and enrolled in the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She received her Bachelor of Arts degree in Communications and African-American studies. Eboni went on to get her J.D. degree from Loyola University New Orleans College of Law. As a law student, Williams clerked for the Louisiana Secretary of State and the Louisiana Attorney General's office, and assisted New Orleans council-members in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. In 2008, Williams provided legal counsel in family law and civil litigation. She was a public defender and returned to private practice in 2010. In private practice Williams provided representation for clients in homicide, rape, drug, sex crime, and federal offense cases. A great article about Eboni’s many other accomplishments can be found here.

The Arrest: 2017 Christmas Eve, Luann is with a polo player at the beautiful Palm Beach Colony Hotel.

The Colony has been a symbol of glamour since it opened in 1947. Former guests include the Duke and Duchess of Winsor and Frank Sinatra. (Cesie and I want to go.)

What should have been a perfect evening at one of Palm Beach’s most beautiful hotels turned into a nightmare for Luann.

It was almost exactly a year since Luann’s divorce from Tom, and The Colony was where Luann had her wedding brunch. Luann wasn’t even supposed to be in Palm Beach, she was supposed to be at her family’s home in Jupiter, Florida. At the Colony, Luann checks in and then heads to the bar with the polo player.

According to Luann, the polo player gets a bit “rambunctious” and Luann asks him upstairs to her room. Luann’s room was on the 3rd floor. In the elevator, drunken Luann presses the button for the 4th floor.

Luann drops her bag in the hallway while searching for her room key.

As the polo player picks up Luann’s bag, Luann finds an unlocked room and walks inside. (Apparently a maid was in the process of turning down the 4th floor room and left it open.) The polo player assumes it is Luann’s room and follows Luann in. Luann and the polo player start making out.

The maid, seeing two strangers walk into a random hotel room immediately calls for security. Security arrives and security & the polo player try to convince Luann she is in the wrong room. Luann is too intoxicated to listen. Police arrive and attempt to arrest Luann, who kicks the bathroom door shut on the officer or “accidently” closes the door on the officer’s face while trying to avoid being arrested.

Luann did not manage to avoid being arrested, but amazingly she does slip the handcuffs off while inside the squad car. And tells the officer “I’m going to f*cking kill you.”

The Florida prosecutor declined to prosecute two counts of corruption by threat and battery on a law enforcement officer that the arresting officer initially described. Luann was formally charged with resisting a law enforcement officer with violence (a felony), trespassing an occupied structure (misdemeanor), and disorderly intoxication (misdemeanor). [If you read the definition of disorderly intoxication, every RHONY episode contains numerous violations…]

Money can’t buy you class, but it will buy you a good attorney.

Luann’s attorney Douglas Duncan (who also represented Tiger Woods) worked out a deal where Luann was able to plea to a misdemeanor charge in absentia and that adjudication will be withheld. This means that Luann didn’t have to appear for the plea, and that that if she followed the probation rules, that charges would never be formally pressed against her.

The Lawsuit: During Luann and the Count’s 2009 divorce, following their 16-year marriage, Luann was awarded the couple’s Bridgehampton home pursuant to an agreement that required Luann to create a trust that would award Noel and Victoria half of the home. Luann failed to create the trust and sold the Bridgehampton home for $8 million in 2014.